Meal Plans and Why I Hate Them

So I generally try to avoid meal plans. I despise them for the most part. The one that I tried was super restrictive. Now granted, it was something like a 21 day "fix". What I was trying to "fix", I couldn't tell you. I guess I was trying to make my body a certain way. I was successful in the short term, I lost weight. However, the program itself was not sustainable long term and of course, over time I gained that back. I try my very best to be active and eat well. It hasn't been great the past few weeks. I was falling back into old habits, of course, and I was eating a lot of crap again. Oh my word, the after supper snacking was out of control!! Anyway, I follow the Bikini Body Mommy challenges. I just completed her most recent 90 day challenge and noticed that she was advertising for a seven day challenge. It's called the Surge. The premise is it's a keto diet, whereby you fuel your body with good fats and refrain from sugar, dairy and carbs. You also do a 40 minute workout a day. The idea is to break through a plateau. Today is day five. I have noticed that I am starting to become obsessed with food again. I'm becoming afraid of eating. This is why I hate meal plans. I think they are great for anyone that has not dealt with disordered eating. I was hoping to just kind of kick myself into better eating habits again, not having so much junk but it seems to have triggered my brain into thinking some not so good things, to the point that I am now afraid to eat regular foods. I know it might sound ridiculous to some, but it is what it is and I have been dealing with this for a few years now, especially since I first lost weight. I think part of me is trying to get back to that, instead of just accepting that my body has a set point and then just trying to better myself as I am now. The struggle is real, folks. It's very real and it's exhausting.