Days 17 (Oops) & 18

Yup I forgot to blog last night. I was so tired after Kailyn went to bed that I couldn't finish watching Shark Night. I don't even think my head hit the pillow and I was out like a light. I find I've been slacking off mentally with everything. I can't let that happen. When that happens, I slip back into bad old habits and then I'm back to square one months later. Happens every single time.

So I'm trying really hard to not let that happen this time. It's not easy as anyone that's losing weight knows. Everyday is a struggle. A very difficult one, especially when you love food as much as I do. I am an emotional eater. Happy, sad, unhappy, frustrated. It doesn't matter what the mood is, I want to comfort myself with food. I'm not as bad as I was. I remember being younger and searching the cupboards for ANYTHING to snack on. I would even eat bacon bits if that's all there was. Sad, I know. What can I say?! I am weak and I love to eat.

When you've been this way for most of your life, it's a very very hard thing to change. I try to find substitutes for eating. I think this is why I love photography so much. It takes the place of food. And well, I'm good at it, so there's that too. And of course, I love to have a snack at night before bed and I'm really trying to cut that out or at least only do it once or twice a week. One day, motivation will kick me in the ass or hit me in the face or I will grab it by the horns and shake the life out of it!

One day.