Yo-yo, yo.

I feel like I'm a yo-yo blogger. I get into these spurts where I have all kinds of things I want to write about and once I've done that, you can hear the crickets chirping for a few weeks or more. My entire point of blogging was to use it as a way to hold myself accountable for my workouts and eating habits. Now that I've reached my goal and am happy with the way I am, I just don't feel as inclined to workout or blog as much. I still want to, as you can probably tell by some of my last posts, but once you get to where you wanted to go, it's hard to get going again. I've tried to jump-start myself, I even did Day 1 of The Shred again. That was last Monday. I was so pumped! Tuesday came and I was so very sore. Now, I always hurt after her workouts, but my head just wasn't really into it. I was going to go with every other day but Wednesday morning had me at the dentist with the girls for their checkups. Needless to say, come Thursday, the desire was totally gone again.

I won't lie people, weight loss is hard. It's not just something that you do for a little bit. It really does become a lifestyle. As much as I didn't want to become "one of those" people, I am. Now, I'm not obsessed with it. I do talk about it quite a bit. I think about it constantly. So, there's still going to be a struggle, not just with physically, but more so mentally now. I have to be very conscious of my decisions with food because it's still a battle. I love food, I love to eat. I have to work very hard now to control those impulses to enjoy food a little too much.

I also have to be mindful of what I say about such matters around my oldest. She's 10 and at that age where she's learning about her body and all the changes to come. I don't want her to have the same body issues and food issues that I had. I know what it's like to be the fat kid and I'll be damned if I'll have the same thing happen to her. I try very hard to not use the word fat in front of them. I'm also careful about what I say about myself. I don't want them to look in the mirror and think any less of themselves because they don't have what society has deemed "the perfect body". I'm trying very hard to focus more on being healthy and choosing the right kinds of foods. I also let her know that she's perfect just the way she is. I can't help her to love herself and all her flaws if I don't do it for me.