Feelin' Fine

I've talked a lot about feeling good mentally. Accepting yourself, loving your body as it is, right now. Those things are huge. It takes a lot to get to that point, especially if you've been battling negative feelings and self worth, like I have, almost all your life. It's very hard to overcome them, much less going in the opposite direction. But today, I'm going to focus a little on feeling good physically.

It's not something that I talked about with anyone. I'm not a big talker in real life (haha, hard to tell with some of my posts hey). When I say talker, I mean communicating. I don't talk about my feelings. I bottle things up and hang onto them (not healthy for one's mental state). I've held onto things to the point where I finally had enough and lost it. It was not pretty and some very nasty and hurtful things were said that cannot be taken back. However, I digress.

I was just thinking to myself the other day, as I was walking up the stairs, how nice it is to be able to do that and not be winded. Now, stop to think about that statement for a minute. Here I was, in my late 20's/early 30's and I couldn't walk up a measly 10 steps without having to stop for a minute to catch my breath. It was worse when I had to carry something. I would take a deep breath before I got to the top so it wouldn't be so bad. So no one would know. That's pretty bad. In fact, I couldn't even play with my girls without getting so winded and having to stop. I always felt a little embarrassed about it but oddly enough, that still wasn't my low point before I decided to change.

I also had issues with my blood pressure. It's a bit unsettling to lie down at night and feel your pulse and literally hear the blood in your ear. Now, it wasn't super high, I was bordering on the high side of normal so not really needing meds other than when I was pregnant with Kailyn (and that I can't necessarily attribute to weight but it's likely). I haven't had either of those feelings in a year. The other thing has been my problem with acid reflux. I've noticed that I don't have it as bad. I've not really needed my medication and have been able to deal with it with otc stuff. That's huge because let me tell you, I was suffering on a daily basis. Some days, I would almost be in tears it was that bad.

So, while the mental health has been great, the way I feel physically just doesn't compare. I'm in my early 30's and I feel 1000x times better now than I did when I was even in my late teens/early 20's. I feel alive and that's a wonderful feeling.