Day 25

I've hit a point this week where I've stopped caring. I've been eating a lot of junk; ice cream, McD's, chips, chocolate bars. I haven't really been regretting it as much as I should. I've just  been dealing with sickness and crankiness and it's been wearing on me so once again, I've resorted to comforting myself with food.

I was thinking about it earlier today and it's really an addiction and it's a hard cycle to break. Go clean, face temptation, weaken and eat, feel guilty (or not), lather, rinse, repeat. So I'm on the relapse train. I haven't even recorded in my food diary in a couple of days. Is there such a thing as rock bottom when it comes to eating? Don't get me wrong, I'm not binging or anything of that nature. Just not watching what I eat. And not caring either. Those are two scary scary things. A bad combination.

It's funny because I've been feeling it in my stomach. A gross feeling. Feeling fat. I was actually starting to feel lighter. The roll wasn't as rolly if you will. Sigh, back to square one I go. Row, row, row your boat. I'll get there. I will. Someday. But not today.